澳洲来开脑洞啦：怎样写出中介那样的文笔（2015121

在澳大利亚房产房屋



前言：
在以下文章，您不但领略到房屋中介的文采，更重要的是您将不定期的看到本人挑选的有特点的一看就有眼缘的房子，绝不是街边那种一抓一大把的。

在挑房的过程中，本人阅读了数百篇domain和realeastate的房屋介绍文章，发现很有意思，感觉中介文笔太牛了，能吹得天花乱坠。

请诸位看官泡一杯茶，坐下来看小的试举一例：

《第一集》一个有卖点的大房子
标题：Position = Profit
点评：标题就是文章的眼珠子，这个眼珠子瞪的老大了，让你喘不过气。。。。。。。
Showcasing the elegant grace and timeless character of a bygone era with the opportunity for a truly rewarding and fulfilling future, seize the moment and restore this remarkable residence to its former glory.
点评：用优雅和抓住机会哦这样的字句，言简意赅的说明本案的价值
In doing so, not only will you elevate this four-bedroom home to a level of class and prestige it deserves to stand in, but retain a piece of Manningham history.
点评：还扯上历史了！真的有悠久的历史吗？
One of the original homes in the area and complete with its own mini-orchard, this substantial-sized residence boasts formal and informal living areas of grand proportions with the added benefit of an accommodation wing for the utmost in privacy and comfort.
点评：把劣势也能说成优点，得多大脑洞啊。
Soaring high ceilings, beautiful Colonial windows that frame leafy garden views and marble fireplaces are hallmarks of the separate formal lounge and dining arrangements, while indoor-outdoor living is a design feature enjoyed by the stately rumpus (with wet bar) and central dining/kitchen area, the latter styled with beautiful timber benchtops, quality appliances and separate wet bar.
Two grassed areas provide ample space for kids to run and play; a huge 'rooftop' entertaining terrace, meanwhile, allows you to stage large gatherings beneath a star-lit sky with serenity and privacy all around.
Adding further appeal, this exceptionally large home also boasts gas ducted heating, three bathrooms, sauna and three-car garage with additional off-street car accommodation.
点评：现在才开始讲具体的房子拥有的配套
Standing on an excellent 2026sqm (approx.) allotment across the road from Birrurrung Park and scenic bike/walking tracks along the Yarra Trail and only a short distance away from Templestowe Village, schools, bus services, Bulleen Plaza and the Eastern Freeway, there's also scope to develop in a five-star location (STCA).
点评：开始点评外部的配套，比如周边交通，学校，生活便利条件等
最后收笔点题，留下悬念：这是个有五星级潜力的地点（悬念在括号里）

房子在此：
http://www.domain.com.au/146-tem ... 012039210?topspot=1

- 第一集完 -


《第二集》一个自身条件不怎么好的房子
4A/367 Lower Plenty Road, Viewbank VIC 3084
http://www.domain.com.au/4a-367- ... vic-3084-2012424912

标题：CHARACTER, CHARM & CONVENIENCE
点评：三个C，英式押韵。
This clinker brick, character filled three bedrooms home is conveniently located opposite a bus stop, walking distance to shops and schools; and within the View Bank College School zone.
With the elegance and charm of high ceilings, original polished floor boards, cellar / under house storage,
a stunning open fire place surrounded by a beautifully presented classic garden;
this home will be attractive to most.
点评：先写交通配套，看来这是其最佳卖点。作者把长句分成短句，便于阅读的同时，也把文章拉长了，要不然多磕碜啊。
The three bedrooms are bright open and spacious all with built in robes.
The formal lounge dining is situated just off the kitchen meals area with glass doors opening out onto the front porch.
The kitchen is very functional with plenty of cupboard space, a dishwasher, oven and gas hot plates.
点评：三个功能区的概括介绍，写的非常朴实，没有加什么副词，让人惊讶
The bathroom has been fully renovated in neutral tones and is bright and modern with seamless glass shower screen, single vanity, bath and toilet.
Entertaining will be easy with a great outdoor alfresco, overlooking the stunning classic garden hedge and a beautiful rose garden.
点评：突出了卧室具体的材质，找出某一项卖点，花费笔墨。这是由面到点的典型写法。
Other features include: ducted heating, evaporative cooling, single lock up garage, cellar / under house storage and many more wonderful features.
点评：最后收笔。此案由于在两条大马路交汇处，你懂的。
不过我认为作者还是没有深刻挖掘其卖点，可能还是因为便宜，给的服务费不高。从它使用的domain卖家模板就能看出来。

Kate Donaldson : 0417 349 719
Features

• Courtyard
• Remote Garage
• Secure Parking
• Outdoor Entertaining
• Fully Fenced
• Floorboards
• Evaporative Cooling
• Built In Robes
• Dishwasher
• Ducted Heating
  

2012424912
点评：为了凑字数，把配置再罗列一次。好的房子不用写这些，费墨。
- 第二集完 -

《第三集》中上等豪宅

标题：This stunning modern home offers lifestyle, spaciousness & quality
点评：请同学们自己拿个本子摘抄上面这些词，出现频率极高
Come inside and see for yourself this unique and absolutely stunning private residence. Offered in abundance is lifestyle, spaciousness and quality - at every turn. Every window a picturesque scene, a creek meandering in your own backyard, 2 minutes down the road to the Plenty River and kilometres of walking trails in both directions - you can even walk to the junction of the Yarra River and feel you are right in the bush.

But all of this - and your home is a mere 20 minutes from the city! Solidly within the highly sought after Viewbank school zones, this property offers a lifestyle like no other.
点评：总体概括一下好处，又画龙点睛--最重要的是你开车20分钟就能到city哦，别的豪宅都没有哦。这样的好地方你还等什么！
A stunning modern home, with 3 large living spaces, easily suited to formal top end entertaining in the front sitting room or a casual get together with family and friends in the expansive open living/dining/kitchen area - opening up through 3 huge sliding panelled doors that can be peeled away to seamlessly adjoin with the outdoor patio, creating a massive open air space, looking over the beautiful and very natural Australian garden.

Step in and enjoy the huge chef's kitchen, large and exceptionally well set up with quality stone benches, an entertainer's sized oven and quality top of the range Miele dishwasher, while the kids can be upstairs in the huge 3rd lounge or rumpus area which is a space that absolutely beckons for you to just chill out and relax. This is definitely a home to settle into, and enjoy all the lifestyle has on offer.

Or stroll into the perfectly situated theatre room, right off the living area, and share a movie experience or your favourite music with the family or friends. Also downstairs is a beautifully sized home office with a window that looks like a superb picture frame, adjoining a stylish powder room for guests, all off the wide gracious hallway that leads from the front to the rear.

Upstairs experience the absolute elegance of the master bedroom, a retreat entirely unto itself - your own private pad modelled off a top rating luxury resort - and a space to enjoy to the max. With an executive style, very elegant bathroom, and a very generous walk in robe, plus a massive bedroom and retreat area, it is easy to see why this is situated at 24 Old Lower Plenty Road. This residence is all about plenty. This entire retreat area truly is for the master in residence.

Also upstairs are 3 more generously sized bedrooms, all easily accommodating queen size beds, and each with their own individual view of the natural and beautiful surrounds. The end bedroom has soft cream raw silk curtains floor to ceiling and wall to wall, also framing a gorgeous view, entirely private. Also upstairs is another stylish bathroom with a set in bath and separate shower, all overlooking another very private and forest-like view.
点评：照例是一层层介绍每个房间和功能区。每个词都用的非常通俗易懂，但是一点也不寒碜。

You would never think you were only 20 minutes from the city in this stunning modern home. Offering the very best that Melbourne has to offer in this prime location eagerly coveted by those who realise that Viewbank is hot property.
点评：再次强调他的优势，吸引那些注意到这个区域的人们，不过我觉得有点废话了。如果经常关注这个社区谁不知道开车到city的时间呢？
Property type: House
点评：废话

- 第三集完 -


鞋子太差，请各位看着给分，好人一定有好报，今天给我加分的下个月买到好房子

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就怕看字多的，先当沙发。

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打开链接一看就惊了，这地形世所罕见，有钱的买了收藏吧

http://www.domain.com.au/146-templestowe-road-templestowe-lower-vic-3107-2012039210?topspot=1

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喜欢的建议珍藏！

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这房子文艺范好足啊，墨尔本的房子普遍比悉尼的房子漂亮。让我们共同期待土豪降临！

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这个中介文笔不错。 卖这种房子的确需要很好的文笔。  

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COPYWRITER 写的

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等续集

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我看GLEN MW的中介就省事多了，基本上就是强调in the school zone，其他随便说说房子的情况就好了，一样好卖。

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写得再好大妈也不会买

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好大一把斧头悬浮在半空，吓死老中买家的节奏阿！

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看到这张图，直接吓尿。



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真有这么多人看那些描述吗
我觉得看看图片再去inspection一下，描述特别是形容性的描述一点用没有

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我觉得文字是给老外看的。
写的优雅的文字还是有点用的，就像我们看中文一样，写的好的文章和诗歌看起来也非常让人舒服，如果文章带着感情能读到催人泪下。

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真的很有文艺范啊

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当年我看到过最优雅的广告词 ： 光猛大房，包水电，近学校

短短10个字 ，满足了我一切幻想

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我只能说楼上的幻想太容易满足了

我看过Brighton一个海边别墅，放图直接上身材姣好的模特，看的我都直了，这屋主TM下血本啊！要是不注明『模特不送』，签完合同就问他：你房子附送那个美女呢？

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这些广告其实都不是卖房的中介自己写的，我认识两个西人大妈就是专门替中介写这个的。

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下个月没有房子卖。。。哈哈。。。

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那也帮忙加个分嘛，xixi
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