Confucius did NOT say.....
Man who wants pretty nurse, must be patient.
Passionate kiss, like spider web, leads to undoing of fly.
Better to be pissed off than pissed on.
Lady who goes camping must beware of evil intent.
Squirrel who runs up woman's' leg will not find nuts.
Man who leaps off cliff jumps to conclusion.
Man who runs in front of car gets tired, man who runs behind car gets exhausted.
Man who eats many prunes get good run for money.
War does not determine who is right, it determines who is left.
Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
It takes many nails to build a crib, but one screw to fill it.
Man who drives like hell is bound to get there.
Man who stands on toilet is high on pot.
Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs. Finally CONFUCIUS SAY. . ...
"A lion will not cheat on his wife, but a Tiger Wood!"
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Confucius is such a prophet...
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好像有首歌叫“孔子曰”。
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一个士兵练习爬树，忽然他从树上掉下来，军官问他为什么掉下来，他说有两只松鼠跑到他裤裆里去了，这我还忍了，可是他们进去了说:咱们把果子分了吧！
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For the first one, the original version is -
Confucius says: Patients will be rewarded by pretty nurses~
其实我最佩服的是孔子对青少年教育的耐心程度， 在“两小儿辨日”里表现得淋漓尽致～
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