澳洲请大家帮我改改这个感谢信吧,谢谢了!

在澳大利亚英语学习




情况是这样的,在做了2个礼拜的volunteer之后,终于得到面试机会,经理助理给了我一个casual的机会。但是现在这个助理要辞职了,于是提醒我由于经理还不是很清楚我的情况,只知道我是一个volunteer,于是,让我在结束volunteer时期之后,给经理写个信,表示一下感谢。可是我的英语很差,绞尽脑汁只写出来这么几句,而且还觉得很绕口。所以,请各位高人不吝赐教,帮忙改一下。再看格式对不对,然后帮忙多写点内容,谢谢了!

信:

我的地址

经理名字
经理地址

18/03/2009

Dear XXX,

I am writing to thank you for giving me the chance of doing volunteer work in your centre.

As you know, I began the volunteer work at preschool room from 6th of March. During last two weeks, I became familiar with the routine in the centre and the children in preschool room. I learnt a lot from A, J, L, such professional staff members. Except getting the work experience, I feel more confident to my future’s work. I really appreciate you giving me the chance. I enjoyed these times very much.

Thank you for giving me the volunteer work chance and thank you for employing me. I will keep going to be an excellent childcare worker and continue working hard in your centre.

Thank you for your time. Wish you happy and luck.

Yours sincerely
签名
打印名字

评论
套话最难说了,我试着改了一下,去掉了一些重复的感谢的话,你看看是否合用吧。我认为你除了感谢得到了volunteer的机会,更应该强调casual 的取得。仅供参考。

Dear XXX,

I am writing to thank you for giving me the chance of doing volunary work as well as the opportunity of becoming a casual staff in your centre.

As you may know, I started as a volunteer at preschool room from 6th March and so far I have known children there pretty well and got familiar with the centre routine. I should say that I enjoyed these times and learnt a lot from the professional staff members here, A, J, L, just to name a few. In addition to the work experience I have gained, I feel more confident in my future performance. It is greatly appreicated that I could become a casual staff of the centre, which I deem recognition of my past work and a great opportunity for my career development.

Thank you again for your time and effort.

Best regards,
***

评论
另外,我觉得你的英语并不差,就是受母语影响多了点,所以感谢的次数特多。另外既然是感谢,除了信以外附一张thank you card 如何?你的主要目的就是要表示感谢,这样目的更明确。供参考。

评论


My version:


18/03/2009

Dear XXX,

I am writing to thank you for giving me the chance to work as a volunteer at your centre.

As you know, I started my volunteer work at preschool room since 6th of March. During last two weeks, I've became very familiar with the routine tasks in the centre, and have become friends with our preschool children. I learned a lot from the professional staff members like A, J, L, to name a few. Equipped with the work experience I gained by working with them, I now feel very confident in working as a casual carer at your centre after the 2 week volunteer period.

I would appreciate it very much if I can work on a casual basis from now on, and I can assure you that you won't be disappointed.

Best Regards,

评论
我上面写的是基于这样的理解:那个经理助理给你的是casual的职位,但是先有两周不付钱的volunteer期,期满再决定是否转为casual。新的经理未必知道这个安排,所以你的信的目的主要是提醒他,两周已过,要么雇你,要么拜拜。我的理解对吗?

评论
非常感谢大家!

情况是这样的,我去那里的一面并不好,就是英语听力很差,所以经理助理建议我做一段时间volunteer试试看。于是我就开始做volunteer。然后volunteer是报给经理批准的。做了两周之后,也就是现在了。我又要求再次面试。于是经理助理再次面试。经理助理这一关是通过了,但是问题是经理助理要调走了,所以她只能给我安排casual的工作,这个是她能在走之前解决的。本来她要是一直在职也就没这么麻烦了。现在她既然要走了,所以就让我跟经理能有点密切的关系,所以建议我写封感谢信给经理,因为没有经理批准的volunteer,就没有现在的工作岗位。所以我需要表示作volunteer这段期间很开心、收获很大,感激这个机会。然后趁机小小提醒一下她,以后就是雇用工关系,多多照顾,嘿嘿!
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