女儿4年级了，看了她的补习作业和OC Trail Test Paper,觉得英语还是薄弱啊。她也挺喜欢看书的。不知道是不是看的不得法。朋友说Mascot 补英语挺好的。请教坛里有经验的妈妈们，Mascot 补英语好吗？最主要离得太远，如果到那儿补真是得下点决心呢。
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家住东南西北？
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我女儿也是读4年级，去补了2个term,感觉grammar 和comprehension教的都比较浅，写作纯粹是给你个范文，然后让你换几个词进去，依葫芦画瓢，觉得有点像cheating。
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关于Mascot 补英语真是各有各的说法，我还是把某一个在Mascot 补习过的，那孩子功课贴出来，供大家自己去评价。
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Lively is not a word you’d have used to describe Licker. Lazy and lethargic yes-but lively, never. You see, Licker Layabout the labrador was a laggard. In the abandoned house, he would collapse like a bag of marbles and snore and roar-a real laggard! When his friend asked him if he would play ball with him, he would say “Nah, play by yourself, I’m too tired.”
When they played gang races he always was last and his team always lost. The other dogs had enough of Licker’s laziness.
The Canine Club met in the abandoned house. If you sneaked a look, the sun making haphazard mosaic patterns on their coat: Andy the alsatian, Charles Chihuahua, Grant the great dane-and Licker, lazily lolling. Licker snoozed, the others sighed.
[ 本帖最后由 SMART1968 于 2010-7-25 16:25 编辑 ]
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“Go on and plea......”
“Why can’t he wake up to play?” grumbled Grant.
Licker snored, the others stared.
“Snore, gurgle, snore... Huh.”
“Come on Licker!”growled Andy
But still he slept; the others shook him.
“Hey...Wh-What...where am I?
“He needs to be taught a lesson!”
It was then they heard the danger: a spine-shivering cacophony of howling, screeching and yapping.
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Six horrified eyes turned to the harassment of howling nearby. Someone was approaching the house. Was it Terry the terrier? Six eyes then settled on Licker. Anxiously they tried to bark him awake; sadly he only opened one eye. He lay there looking at the others’ shadows in the window-the other quickly fading shadows. Now as you and I know, terriers are
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territorial. But what you might not be aware of was not only Terry territorial; he also almost always caught the trespasser in a savage fight. You see, poor Licker was too lazy to flee.
“Howl!”howled Terry. And Licker woke from his deep sleep. Stumble! Yes, he stumbled- and staggered and trembled and limped and flopped and dropped and crawled for safety- and then jerked. Oh no! Licker was being dragged! Terry was protecting his terrier-tory! Andy, Charles and Grant just stood there, ears pricked up, staring at the fading image of Licker. But hang about! Surprisingly, they heard a great bang, followed by a dark silhouette. It was Licker and he was biting Terry by the tail. Terry was all bark and no bite; he had just used his claws!
Well a humble-hearted, straight-faced Licker learned his lesson that day. But even he had a small smile when everyone cheered at his courage. From that day on, he never again lolled or lounged... well, not very often. And that, my friends, is the end of this true tale...except he started to race in the Dog Olympics and get fit- but that’s another story for another day.
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这是几年级的题目？
是阅读理解，还是孩子的作文？
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四年级作文，如果Eating在那里补过一年一定也写过，是四年级高班。
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我们补了2个term，就是总共20堂课，现在不补了。反正我女儿在那里补课时，writing都是给你个模式，你把形容词和动词换掉就可以了。他们的范文里有很多的排比句，还要rhyming words，不过要找那么多rhyme的词还真是不容易啊，让我们绞尽脑汁。我也贴一段我女儿“写”的文章吧，
Shiver 1
My garden is no ordinary garden. It smells like an ordinary garden with floating fragrances of flowers and compost bins. My lounge is bright; my bedroom is light. But… my garden is no ordinary garden. In fact, my garden is spooky and cooky, shivering and quivering and savagely scary. It is in that spooky, cooky, shivering, quivering, savagely dark garden that extremely extraordinary things happen. The most extremely extraordinary thing that ever happens in my garden is… when my great grandfather’s treasure chest is opened!
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谢谢啦。我女儿现在肯定写不出这样的。我家在Epping 附近。到Mascot就是有点距离啊。所以纠结中。想听听前辈的经验。
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我认为不需要从Epping 到Mascot来补英文，相信山区一定有好的英文老师。
[ 本帖最后由 SMART1968 于 2010-7-25 20:29 编辑 ]
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山区有什么好的学校呢？我住Epping，Eastwood，现在在补pre-uni.女儿成绩不拔尖，只能说中上，大约top 25%。非常焦虑啊。
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我们在那儿补了3个term。这个term刚停。
我不知道她那儿的评分标准是怎样的，只是有点纳闷为什么分数给的那么高，上学期report竟然98分。而我知道自己孩子的写作是很差的。所以这学期换了一个。
如果住的近，可以试试。要是很远，家长有时间的话，试一个term也OK。
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如果写作班是这个模式，我觉得不太好。但不排除它有实用价值。
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D妈妈，swotshop 的英语好吗？我有一个朋友在那儿补的。听说作业很少。我女儿是那种拨一拨，动一动的类型。swotshop 不知道适合吗。我现在有点像无头苍蝇，到处打听。最主要觉得看她作业什么都行，但是trail test排名就是不行。也不想oc了，希望selective能进。
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我没有比较，所以也不太好下结论。个人感觉，他们的写作班和MASCOT 是两个概念。就是出个题目让孩子写。写完了老师批改。没有范文。没有技巧训练。每次写作，小D都稳定在12-15分之间（总分20）。就没见他提高过。
最好是两种状态取个平均值。
你女儿这个状态，如果满足于SWOT SHOP的功课，我认为不够。一周才30分钟功课，怎么够。（表告诉你女儿这是我说的）
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实在想花功夫就背新概念英语好了.
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牛妈就是有一套，能分享你的经验吗？
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在精英中学或者OC测试的英文写作给分，按重要程度，可以按照一下顺序：
1. Relevance to the subject – No more, no less to the requirements or major points
2. Paragraph Structure -- Are major points well structured and organized to support the whole subject?
3. Sentence Structure -- Smooth and understandable?
4. Vocabulary -- Accurate usage/conveyance
5. Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling – Obvious mistakes？
为方便理解（中文）
1. 主题相关性 -- 不多不少按要求写出主题/中心思想。
2. 段落结构 -- 要点是否组织清晰？有无反复混乱？
3. 句子结构 -- 流利还是晦涩难懂？
4. 词汇 -- 是否准确表达思想
5. 语法/标点/拼写 – 是否有明显的错误？
其实，就精英中学考试来说，写作占英文的1/3比重，这样如果按300分的总分，那么写作的总分数差不多在35左右（综合考虑了学校给分和考试分数）。
目前，我的看法是，很多人（学生，家长和多数补习老师）将写作和阅读的训练方式混淆起来，缺乏针对性。比如，写作对词汇的要求是第四位，并不要求学生用太多复杂难懂的单词（而阅读和GA就要求有很多的词汇量），表达清楚准确更为重要。最主要的是主题相关性以及要点的组织结构，老师给分的时候基本按上面要素来考虑的。
由于主题相关性和段落要点非常重要，也被很多人忽视，现在就来看看一个案例。
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学生案例一：
My Special Day
Write a story about your special day. Tell and explain about three activities or events you did on that day.
Your writing will be judged:
What you have to say
How well you organize the way you write it
How clearly and effectively you express yourself.
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注：这个学生是Year 5 的OC班学生。
Today I went to the school carnival. As I started to slowly walk into the bus, I chattered to my best friends behind me.
For minutes, we waited in the bus and talked to the excited classmates around us. Even I was so excited that I couldn’t wait for several minutes.
As soon as the bus stopped, we were instructed to quietly walk out and line up near the picnic area.
As I walked past the kind, bus driver, I thanked him politely while the others walked noisily past me. The kind-hearted teacher on duty encouraged me and I felt so pleased with myself.
Our class set up the mats at our house groups, and happily started playing card games.
As the fist event took place, many of the kindergarten children rushed up to the waiting area.
The event was organised by age groups from youngest to oldest.
Finally, the shot put was called. I made it into the finals and I excitedly dashed up to the shot –put area.
I scored five pint six metres and was extremely happly with the results.
As I finished the running events, I felt my heart beat quickly when I came first.
After the events, I went to the public canteen and bought sweets.
After five hours of extreme fun, it was time to g back to school.
I hoped that next year, we could have another exciting carnival..
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点评：
相关性：
主题是， three activities or events on a special day, 但是，从这篇文章中你无法清楚的看到三个主题。从“For minutes, we waited in the bus and talked to the excited classmates around us” 。。。 up to . “The event was organised by age groups from youngest to oldest.”一大段没有必要，基本上可以去掉，放在那里，哪怕写的再好，也不会得什么分的。真正的activity 好象是从As the first event took placed 开始，从那以后，shot up and running, 以及前面的playing card games， 是不是three activities之一呢? 非常不清楚。
段落结构：
从这个文章中，段落也是很混乱，读者无法清楚地看到要点组织。Introduction, body parts and conclusion/wrap up， 组织混乱，一句成了一个段落。
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顺便也点评一下这个帖子里的一篇文章（因不知道完整内容和写作要求，可能有失偏颇）。
Shiver 1
My garden is no ordinary garden. It smells like an ordinary garden with floating fragrances of flowers and compost bins. My lounge is bright; my bedroom is light. But… my garden is no ordinary garden. In fact, my garden is spooky and cooky, shivering and quivering and savagely scary. It is in that spooky, cooky, shivering, quivering, savagely dark garden that extremely extraordinary things happen. The most extremely extraordinary thing that ever happens in my garden is… when my great grandfather’s treasure chest is opened!
点评：
优点 -- 这篇文章里的单词比较丰富，感觉高于小学水平，每个句子结构不错，韵味教强。
缺点 – 过于重复。相关单词堆积过多，可能是过分强调rhythm所致（我不知道是不是写诗？）。比如，spooky, cooky是类似的，shivering, quivering也是类似的，most extremely extraordinary thing， 也是夸张的堆积。my garden is no ordinary garden也是重复。写这个主要是为了让老师评韵味单词分吗？而上面我提过，词汇只是写作给分的第四位要素。
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其实，写作也是交流的一种手段，并且在英语中是最难的，因为第一：要有自己的观点；第二：要合理组织自己的观点。最终的目的是要别人能从作者那里得到有用的信息，而不是简单的单词排列了。写作也是在今后的生活和工作中最可以显示实力的技能，老外很能说，但是绝大多数人写的很差。有句谚语：
“Reading maketh a full man, conference a ready man, writing an exact man”, by Roger Beacon. 充分说明这一点。
欢迎足友发帖交流。。
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谢谢何老师的点评。
我儿子写作的一个大毛病是imagination太多。
有过一个和上面的这样一个类似的题目好像叫一次interesting的trip，他竟然给扯到最开心的一次trip是和妈妈一起带了好多好吃的去月球picnic， 玩的怎么怎么.的开心，玩着玩着想起来没有带cheese， 最后他抱起圆圆的金黄的月亮咬一大口，结尾是剩下一道弯弯的月亮挂在枝头。。。。
我是彻底晕死，明显应该就是一个写实的叙述文，结果成了一个科幻， 离题十万八千里。可是老师觉得还挺好，给了一个不错的分数。可如果我是老师的话，首先离题就不能给及格。
现在为了保险起见，勒令他除非题目要求，不然不许再写科幻。
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东有马老师，北有何老师。厉害
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我儿子以前也有点这种毛病, 比较容易想象得过头.
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我觉得都是看ｆｉｃｔｉｏｎ的小说看的．．．
后来怎么给掰过来的？
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没掰过来 就指着他考试的时候别天马行空.
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我的感觉是，澳洲这里对是否切题的尺度很松，天马行空的也没关系。所谓主题相关性，好像更多是指所写的内容是否能很好围绕自己的主题展开，而不是东拉西扯，自己也不知道要表达什么。
我儿子在国内时，对于作文题目常常发愁，感觉没什么可写或不知道写什么。来澳洲后这样的情况一次也没发生过。我问过他原因，他说：“你不知道呀，这里是creative writing，create谁不会呀”。我本来总觉得比起阅读，他在写作方面弱些，其实就是现在我还是这么认为的，但偏偏school report上他的写作成绩最高，今年精英考试写作成绩也不错，拿了18/20。所以我觉得不能简单以我们过去的经验来判断这里的写作标准。
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Meigui 说得很有道理, 其实到现在我也没很搞清到底怎样的文章在他们眼里能得高分.
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下面是这个学生经过指导以后的文章，供大家参考 （红色是点评）。
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My Special Day
By TTTT TT
My special day was at the school athletics carnival. My three events were the age race, high jump and long jump. My best event was the age race because it had much more action than the other two events. -- Brief introduction referring to the subject.
As the first event, the age races, took place, many of the kindergarten children rushed up towards the waiting area. The age groups were organized by youngest to oldest which explains why the kindergartens rushed up first. After waiting for several minutes, my age was called. I had to overcome two other people who beat me in the cross country. Now, I have the chance to beat them. As I walked down the waiting area, I noticed how the fast people had to stay at the back. BANG! The gun fired as I dashed forward past my competitors. I tried to maintain my speed as I ran. The two people who beat me at the cross country started to gain speed but I had already crossed the finish line. I felt extremely proud of my self, presenting my 1st place ticket to the house captains. I know that I would make it into ZONE. ---- first activity, rich detail.
After about an hour of chattering and playing with my close friends, the high-jump trial results were announced for whom made it into the carnival high-jump. As the loudspeaker went through all the people who made it in, I just heard my name as it went through the list. My close friends congratulated me as I walked up the high-jump area. The high-jump mats were big and thick. They almost looked like your bed mattress except with two layers not one. First the beam was set on one metre which was fairly high. As many failed the one metre jump, it was finally my turn. I took a great run-up and jump as high as I could and leaped over the beam! ‘I made it!’ I thought to myself as I jumped off the mattress. Unfortunately someone else, a close rival, had made it over the beam too! The rest all failed and had second attempts but still failed. As the other winners went, the judges put the beam to one point two metres! It was super high! As my rival made a dash to the beam, I shivered with fear on the thought if he made it. Fortunately, he didn’t make it which was a slight relief. As I made my jump to the beam, I accidentally tipped the beam with my foot as I leaped through! ‘I could have made it if I didn’t tip my foot’, I groaned after we were sent back. -- second activity, lively description.
To me, the long jump was so easy! Since I run so fast on the run-up, I could jump longer! The announcer invited me to join the long-jump group which was expected. I knew I would make it into the long-jump since I jumped a long distance at the try-outs. As the winners made their way the long-jump, I was relieved to find out my rival didn’t make it into the long-jump. The teacher for long-jump instructed me to go first. As I made my way to the run-up pad, I heard a couple of people snarling to their friends about how I am going to jump a long distance. The teacher raised a signal as I ran as fast as the wind to the jumping spot. I made a gigantic leap and unexpectedly broke the school record! I could see the people stare at me with awe. The teacher announced with appreciation, four point five metres! New record! I happily told my friends as I ran to the picnic area. They glared at me with unbelief. Then I told them to look on the school newspaper.---- third activity, good wording and sentence.
That school carnival day was an absolute success! I finally beat the two other competitors and broke a new school record! I felt extremely happy at these two wonderful events and I hope to do even better next year! I enjoyed the long-jump event the best since I broke the record. I didn’t like the high-jump very much however, I was still satisfied. I hope next year would be an even more success for me! -- Good conclusion/wrap up/looking forward..
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这篇文章里的词汇量并不复杂，也不夸张。最重要的是主题贴近，不重复，没有冗余，段落清楚。文字方面主要是要熟练和准确，不是要复杂晦涩。各位父母在指导小孩写作的时候可以记住这些要点。。
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