澳洲幼儿行为培训

在澳大利亚幼儿产妇



昨天去小宝子cc参加了这个behaviour management training,虽然小宝子才1岁，不过听听也很有用，开始要斗志斗勇了

这个是转自www.mummyweekly.com.au

Why Why Why
Every time you ask your child to do something.... you must tell them why! Which ever way you look at it, behaviour management is all about teaching kids to be prepared for an independent life. So if this is the case we must be telling our kids why we want them to do as we ask. Not only do we get a child who is more agreeable because we have explained ourselves, but we are teaching our kids something!

Expectations
As I said to you at the Toolbox talk. You would hear me say things you already knew. But by hearing them again it helps to remind you of the importance of those points, and that's what you're doing when your reminding your kids of your expectations even though you have said it many times before. Talking about expectations sets kids up for good behaviour by putting what you expect of them in the forefront of their mind.

Kids and Sorry
When you force a sorry you simply end up with a sorry that is hollow and full of resentment. These feelings are the wrong feelings to be associated with saying sorry, and do not encourage our kids to learn to say sorry without encouragement from us. They only give kids an understanding that saying sorry is a negative experience. Encouraging your child to say sorry helps them to avoid these feelings rather than a forceful sorry.

Tag Tag Tag
"You are such a good girl arn't you". "Now you just stop that right now, I have had enough". Good girl for what? Stop what? What are you talking about?  This is where Tagging is highly effective. Tagging is your explanation, for example. “Good boy”...tag...”I really like the way you're sitting in your chair”.  Child now knows exactly what you're talking about and is far more likely to do that good behaviour in the future.

Worth the Battle??
Remember why you put two question marks. That's right! We can be too quick to choose battles. To help ensure you get it right the first time, ask yourself not once, but twice if what you are presented with is worth the battle. We may have different battles, but what's important is that when you choose it that you then fight it and win.

Individuality of the Child
The more children we have the easier it seems to be to move with the group rather than tending to the needs of the individual. Remember the individuality of your kids. Simply by doing this you will end up in far less battles and a happier child. An example of this may be "now eat up, your sister likes carrots so you should too". You might recall here my bath story where Bella protested the bath was too hot.

We're In This Together.  The Parent with WITT.
Here you might remember Will and the fire shoes story. Be a parent who communicates to their child that you are a parent with WITT. This means getting the message across to your child that “we’re in this together”. We want our kids to know that we get it, that we understand and SHARE with them their disappointment, anger, sorrow, frustration, sadness, and the variety of other emotions we find ourselves feeling in difficult to swallow situations. As parents this helps us to be seen by our kids as more approachable, something we all want our kids to feel about us.

A great tool for older children, more into their preschool/early school years is to share your stories with them. My son who has been desperate for a Star Wars toy voiced to me how hard it was to wait for his birthday and that he really did want it now. After jibber jabbering on for some time about how you have to wait sometimes for things and yes it was tricky I began to tell him the story of a blue ring I wanted when I was a little girl, but I too had to wait for my birthday. Now that is the shortened form of the story, but believe me when I say story, it was. I gave him the details of what the ring looked like, where I first saw it, who I asked to buy it for me, how long I had to wait, and of course my excitement when my birthday came.  Children LOVE stories, and none better than yours. It helps them to better understand their world and to be able to cope with the difficult situations they face in life.

Choosing the Consequence
There must be consequence to poor behaviour. Many times the consequence immediately occurs. "I told you to walk the floor is wet". "If you hit your brother he doesn't want to play the game anymore". But there are also many times that there is no obvious consequence the child can see. We must be the dishes out or highlighters of the consequence. But when giving out consequence to poor behaviour, sometimes it is not easy to identify what the consequence should be. But keep these things in mind to assist you.

The consequence should be about what the child has done and fix it. Simply put:
If you spill your milk be it an accident or not, you clean it up.

The consequence should be realistic and committed. Simply put:
"If you don't stop jumping on your bed I am cancelling the party tomorrow".

Now cancelling a party is not realistic or something more parents would be able to commit to, but we throw these kinds of statements out all the time.
Now if you don't get down Santa won't come". Won't he? Really? Of course not! You must always be able to follow through with what you say.

First Rung
Remember to stay on that first rung of the ladder. You climb, kids climb. When we climb the swearing in our head can tend to occur leading us down a certain path, one that our thoughts and movements can follow. Keeping on that first rung also helps your kids from climbing. If kids do get to the top of that ladder, they will come down much faster, if you have stayed down the bottom. Sometimes we as parents can be at the top of the ladder for so long that we don't realise when our kids have actually come down leaving us still sitting at the top. Sometimes they can even stand at the bottom and be giving that ladder a shake. Ever said to your kids, "I just told you not to do that"! This can be the shake.

Consistency Killer Consistency King
It is as it says. Consistency is a killer cause it can be so hard to do. But consistency is absolute king when it comes to behaviour management. When your kids work out that you mean what you say and you mean it every single time, your behaviour management life becomes so much easier. This strategy can take kids a while though to see and feel. But a long as you are consistent, they will get it.

Sweeteners
Remember to use your sweeteners. Blossom, buddy, sweetness, matey. Those little words that help us to stay down the bottom of the ladder, and to show our kids we are in control. Using sweeteners helps our brain to go down a certain path, just as that swearing in your head does! Your thoughts are followed by your physical and verbal. So help to keep these thoughts in check with  sweeteners. It is very difficult to make sweeteners work when you're at the top of the ladder. Sweeteners have more impact when you are still down at the bottom. They help to keep you there and to show your child that you are not willing to battle.

Successful Time Out
Parents tend to like a magic number when it comes to time out. A period of time the child must sit for to help them measure the success of the time out experience, and many use the age of the child as the time to sit for. The problem with this is every child is different. Some 5 year olds can't sit for 5 minutes, so we simply set the child up for failure to stick to a number. If your child is 5 but can only sit for 3 minutes, make it 2 and a half! If you are using time out, you want it to be successful. If you must, make the age of the child the absolute limit to sit for.


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