在新西兰
有趣的节日“国际不打小孩日”。这个发源于美国的节日,很多家长表示头一次听说,孩子们则称“这一天要告诉爸妈,无论自己怎么疯,都不许打人。”
-家长
还有这么一个节?
“不许打小孩?谁设立的?”听到4月30日是“国际不打小孩日”,孩子已经上3年级的市民徐先生连连发问。
“我家是个男孩,调皮的很,一天不打就上房揭瓦。”徐先生认为,这种舶来的节日,并不一定每个家庭都适用。“我小时候,一天挨一顿揍很正常。还有不让家长打小孩的日子?”
同样,教育孩子偶尔用“暴力手段”的高先生,也认同徐先生的看法。高先生的孩子上幼儿园,有一次孩子撒了谎,他耐着性子让孩子承认错误,但孩子愣不认错。“我抬手就打了他屁股,你说家长如果不惩罚孩子,他就养成撒谎的习惯了。”
虽然“国际不打小孩日”家长们认同度不高,但在孩子们看来,“国际不打小孩日”给他们提供了一个“疯狂”的理由。
-孩子
告诉爸妈这一天不许打我
在一些中学生集中的论坛或贴吧,发帖的学生们高呼,“4月30日,告诉爸妈不许打我,因为今天我们过节。”网友“小桃子”还回忆其挨揍的“惨痛经历”,“就因为作业完成的不好,被爸爸打的屁股到现在还疼。”
更多跟帖的网友普遍呈现出来的声音是,家长体罚时过于粗暴,根本不考虑孩子的感受。“其实我们也渴望和爸爸妈妈平等地交流,不能总用棍棒来教育我们。”
-专家
“狼爸虎妈”并不可取
如何教育孩子?媒体此前报道的“虎妈狼爸”个例,被很多家长认同。认为对不乖的孩子,用这种方法最能见效。
不过,从事心理学研究的晚报健康专家顾问团成员赵后锋认为,暴力会对孩子们的心灵造成创伤,致使他们的心中产生怨恨。网络上热炒的“狼爸虎妈”并不适合每一个家庭,因为每个孩子都有自己的个性和特点,作为家长要找对孩子的特点,有针对性地采取教育方法。“家长要有一个统一的目标和要求,这样才能让孩子在发生问题后,知道自己怎样做是正确的。”
-新闻链接
国际不打小孩日
4月30日是“国际不打小孩日”,最早是美国反体罚组织“有效管教中心”1998年发起的。它的英文名称中spank一词俗称“打屁股”,所以也将其译作“无巴掌日”或“拒绝体罚日”
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Spank Out Day
Today is “Spank-Out Day”, dedicated to raising awareness about the damage that spanking causes to children, and encouraging parents to find gentle, positive, loving, respectful and effective alternatives to guide our children through life.
Since as long as I can remember I’ve been against spanking or any other type of corporal punishment. I was occasionally spanked by my mom growing up, and never spanked by my dad. So, I am not one of those people who made the decision not to spank after experiencing it first hand. However, I did experienced the lack of connection, and I know how harmful that is.
Since I became a mom, Dr. Laura Markham’s words always stay with me as I parent my daughters ‘Connection before correction.’ The message sounds so simple, and yet it is so powerful. If that’s your mantra as a parent, even if you thought spanking was an option, you would never spank your kids. If you take the time to connect with them, to really CONNECT with them, with their feelings, with yours… from that place, it’s impossible to make the rational decision to physically harm your children in order for them to learn a lesson.
For those of you who need a little bit more convincing or information about the negative effects of spanking, and who need effective alternatives to it, here are some articles that are absolutely worth reading.
- “What is the difference between spanking and abuse?” by Dionna Ford at Code Name: Mama
- “I used to hit my children“, by Kimberly at TheSingleCrutch.com. Very brave, honest, eye-opening, redeming, hopeful piece. It’s never too late to make the right decisions by our children.
- “Redirecting the impulse to spank“, by Amy, Toddler in Tow.
- “Another letter to another pastor on spanking“, by Dulce at Dulce de Leche
Great readings about alternatives to corporal punishment:
- “Babes and Boundaries“, by Little Hearts/ Gentle Parenting Resources.
- “Alternatives to spanking“, by Positve-Parents.Org
- “No spanking, no yelling, no time-outs; what’s left?” by Alivingfamily.com
- “Best anti-spanking resources“, by Annie at PhDinParenting.com
Love,
Diana-
__________________________
Diana G. Blanco, B.B.A, M.B.A., is a Certified Youth, Parenting and Family Coach; a Baby and Toddler Sleep Expert; and the founder of Smooth Parenting. Diana is also a member of the American Association of Sleep Medicine.
Smooth Parenting provides baby and toddler sleep consultancions; parent coaching and parenting education; helping families around the world get a good night sleep and a peaceful, smooth and happy family life. Her approach to sleep training and parenting is gentle, progressive, effective, holds the wellbeing of the child first, and follows the guidelines provided by the American Academy of Pediatrics. New York Family Magazine recently wrote “Blanco was everything she had seemed like on the phone—sweet, smart, and passionate about baby sleep, [...] she reminded me of a gentler version of the SuperNanny“.
Diana is the author of the book ‘Smooth Baby Sleep. 6 Simple Steps to Gently Help Your Child Sleep,’ a clear, easy to read and effective guide to gently help children sleep from birth to toddlerhood. She is also a contributing author of ‘Celebrating Moms and Motherhood.’
To read more articles by Diana and learn more about Smooth Parenting, parenting coaching, baby sleep consultations, teleseminars, webinars and evetns, please visit www.SmoothParenting.com
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annual international "No-hitting, no-smacking, no-spanking day for children" on 30 April 2005. The purpose is to highlight the need to end physical punishment of children, and to promote non-violent discipline. Last year organisations in nine nations participated in this observance through articles in newsletters, media releases and educational events. For further information visit the website www.stophitting.org.
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